It’s the advice of the nation’s top researchers, who have found that a beer a day can protect you from many of the most common — and deadly — health problems, including cancer, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes and Alzheimer’s disease. And that’s not all — a daily beer can also strengthen your bones and even help you lose weight.
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa – Earth’s atmosphere is rapidly leaking out through holes in the ozone layer — and if the alarming trend continues at the current rate, every human on the planet will die a slow and agonizing death by suffocation within just eight short years!
You can get fat raises and big promotions the easy way – not by working long hours and kissing big-shot butt, but by seducing the boss’ wife and sweet-talking her into getting them for you! « I tell my clients to be all they can be to be successful – and those who listen almost always get the big raises and promotions that their… »
Prostitutes who service naval bases around the world are suffering from a new form of battle fatigue — they’re getting burned out from pleasuring droves of U.S. sailors involved in the war on terror!
GENEVA – A maverick military expert has put forward a way-out new proposal to make future wars fairer — by establishing « weight divisions » for nations just as in professional boxing!
LONDON – Most theoretical physicists now believe time travel is possible and will be achieved within the next 5,000 years – meaning your next door neighbor could be from the future and you may not even know it! « Beyond scientific theory, there is tangible evidence of human time travel, » notes one top British physicist.
« Objects known as anachronisms have been found out of their appropriate time, ranging from electric batteries dug up in ancient Greek ruins to a modern-type digital watch left behind in a Chicago hotel room in 1925. »
You can convince your children that you’re cool, even if your idea of an « in » dance is the Bunny Hop…
Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact, those dopes can kill you!